6 Science-Backed Tips for Raising Successful Children
Compiled from decades of scientific research, here is a list of six things every parent can do to create the best possible conditions for their children to succeed in life. This is a great starting point for parents who want to raise successful children and become the best parents they can be.
1. Be a warm, supportive and accepting parent
In 1938, Harvard University conducted a special study to find the secret to raising successful people.
The researchers came to one clear conclusion:
Interpersonal relationships are the secret to a happy and successful life. Having a childhood in which one feels accepted is one of the best predictors of adult success, well-being and life satisfaction.
In addition, the human brain is highly dependent on experience. The architecture of the brain is shaped by life experiences and interactions. The experience of having a warm and responsive parent lays the foundation for future mental health. Memories of a happy childhood are a lifelong source of strength.
The best way to raise successful children, therefore, is to become a warm, responsive and indulgent parent. And in doing so, it is necessary to cultivate a close parent-child relationship on a daily basis.
2. Teach children to control their emotional side
The ability to regulate one's emotions is essential for achieving success and happiness in life.
Emotional regulation is not a skill we are born with. Therefore, it is very important to teach our children to control this key trait.
However, teaching emotional control doesn't just mean giving children exercises or games. Children learn this trait primarily by watching their parents and observing how they behave themselves. If we are angry and yell at our children every time they misbehave, we cannot expect our children to be able to stay calm when they get angry.
So, to help your child succeed in life, first of all, learn self-control yourself and become a good role model for them. Then your child will learn how to do it.
3. Give your child a choice
As parents, we want to protect our children, but controlling or helicopter parenting can hinder rather than promote a child's development. Making good decisions takes practice, which can only come from experience.
Give children choices that are not safety and health related so they can begin to learn how to make good decisions. Instead of forcing them to follow your advice, guide them. If they still want to do it their way, let them experience the natural consequences. Experience, after all, is the most effective way to learn how to make good decisions. Autonomy also allows a child to gain confidence and self-esteem.
A person cannot succeed no matter how well equipped they are if they do not want to succeed. A person must be motivated to achieve greatness in what they do. In addition to learning to make good choices, freedom of choice is also a vital motivator, especially in school work. If children are not allowed to make their own choices, they will lose motivation.
4. Create challenges for children
Children are motivated to achieve goals they can reach. It takes effort to keep a child's attention, but including a reward is sure to work.
A task becomes uninteresting to a child when it is too easy, but also when it is too difficult to accomplish. Offer children challenges within their current abilities and provide immediate feedback so they can continue to improve.
If schoolwork seems too easy, you can help them find additional learning materials. If schoolwork is too challenging for your child's current level, work with the school or find a teacher who will work on it.
Our online STEM classes can be a great challenge for your children, motivating them to improve their skills in a fun way!
5. Motivate children using values, don't use reward and punishment
Not all motivation is the same. Rewards and punishments only create extrinsic motivation, which is not a good long-term solution.
We may be able to get children to do school work when they are young by using rewards and punishments. However, if they don't like learning or school, they will eventually quit or do poorly in it.
To help children develop intrinsic motivation, share your values about why learning is important. Going to school and learning shouldn't just be about getting A's. It's about gaining knowledge and personal growth.
Only if children enjoy learning will they be intrinsically motivated to succeed and enjoy it. So try to motivate your child to learn and to enjoy learning.
6. Compromise, be strict but also kind
Being both kind and strict is a hallmark of authoritative parenting that has been consistently associated with the success of the child. Children whose parents are authoritative tend to perform better in school, are more resilient, have better coping skills and are less likely to drop out of school.
"Stricter" parents often fear that kindness will allow their children to rule the house. But being kind does not mean being permissive. Those are two separate things. Being kind and strict means that you can kindly let your child know what the boundaries are and then firmly enforce them.
Positive parenting is a popular form of authoritative parenting that you can adopt. It is a parenting philosophy that emphasizes the use of positive guidelines and mutual respect for each other.
Inductive parenting is another authoritative way of teaching children to know right from wrong. In addition to positive guidance and mutual respect, this method teaches children critical thinking and reinforces their thinking skills, which we cannot do without in this day and age.
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